1 post tagged “insecure”
I began this blog writing on my own self-image when I was a child and Karessa noted in her response that when she heard about my blog she thought I was insecure. This is partly true, so I want to discuss self-image in this blog post. I believe that making the choice of tanning or not tanning is an issue of self-image. It also has cultural implications. Although I knew darker when I lived in the Philippines I had no idea that I was too dark until I saw the television commercials of models with fair skin. Later in my life people would tell me things that altered by self-image. In high school I was a very impressionable young woman.
I remember the first day of school back in high school was the most exciting day of the year. We came back from summer with new stories and entered the new school year with new class schedules. The fun of the first day of school is seeing who you have classes with and catching up with everyone in the hallway. The most nerve-wrecking thing about the first day for me was trying to groom myself so that I would look my best.
The men in my school always played this game “Hot or Not”. The rules are simple. The men would survey all the women in the classroom and decide who was hot and who wasn’t. They would sit next to their best friend and point out who the winners were and their best friend would either agree or disagree. They acted like no one could see or hear them but I knew I could hear them perfectly. I never made it on to the hot list and I can’t begin to explain why this stupid game had an effect on my self-image but it did. I felt disappointed I was not considered to be attractive by these men. It’s not the only reason I had a low self-image but instead added to the list of reasons. It took me until today to learn why I didn’t feel comfortable with myself in high school. The thing is the girls that they thought were hot all looked the same and I didn’t fit into that mold.
Today, I stumbled upon this advertisement which sparked my curiosity. It’s called the “Evolution of Beauty” by the Dove Company. After watching the advertisement I logged on to their website and learned that I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. "78% of girls with low self-esteem admit that it is hard to feel good in school when you do not feel good about how you look," (Dove.com). This really sums up my high school experience. I had low self esteem, felt insecure about how I looked and had a terrible high school experience. This also explains why girls feel the need to do massive amounts of tanning – they feel inadequate, insecure and unhappy with their natural skin tone. They would like to fit into the mold and aren’t secure enough with their self to venture outside the mold. I guess I can relate to that.
...to be continued. (Rachel and Mischa are ideals that we tried to live up to in high school)
